When I was in middle school, I was the late bloomer. I wasn’t physically attractive and was made fun of often for being chubby, having braces and not having fashionable clothes. I found myself comparing and striving for acceptance at every turn. I changed everything about my appearance, trying new hairstyles, makeup and even buying new clothes that I thought would make me more liked. Nothing changed. Even though I felt like an ugly duckling, there was something interesting about me.
I was loved.
I made people laugh.
I had empathy for everyone.
I was a great friend.
I was wanted.
I lacked the things that the world found value in but yet I had value to everyone…except myself. Even to this day, I carry the thoughts of a teenage girl who was outwardly undesirable. Sometimes these thoughts rise up to try to overtake my confidence but I know now that I am in control of how I feel about myself, which is why I want to talk about it.
As a girl who finds herself writing about fashion and beauty all day long, talking about confidence from the heart can seem a little bit foreign from time to time. There are days when I find myself so wrapped up in sequins and fake eyelashes that I find myself having empty spaces in my heart, like I neglected parts of my soul for appearance.
I think fashion is one of the greatest ways to be yourself and show off your confidence, but I cannot stress how important it is that fashion isn’t your confidence. Makeup isn’t your confidence. And the opinions of those around you are DEFINITELY not your confidence. I love being dolled up but it’s important for me to be able to look in the mirror first thing in the morning and know that I am enough before anything gets done. Not because of my looks, but my heart. When I look into the mirror, the first thing I want to see is –
a peaceful spirit.
I know what it feels like to look stunning but to feel empty. I know what it’s like to long for attention and acceptance but only find loneliness. Girls, I know we all struggle with this but remember that no matter what you wear, what you look like, people will remember your soul, your personality, your demeanor. Your beauty and your worth comes from the inside and it is the most important part of you to maintain.
You do not have to look a certain way, fit a certain stereotype, prove that you are important, you simply have to BE. Think about this: your worth was established long before you were on this earth, and nothing can change that fact. What you can change is how you view yourself and what you value.
It’s a new year, which is a great time to sit down and take a real look at yourself. How do you see yourself? What do you value? Who do you want to be? How will you get there? Where does your confidence come from? I don’t necessarily believe in new years resolutions but I definitely believe in the power of some serious goal setting. Make goals that develop your health and your character and more than anything, spend time with God and let Him show you your true worth and purpose.
What are your goals for 2017?
Let me know in the comments!
Stay unique, sisters.